March 21, 2011

finding zen

i could not fall asleep last night, had hot sweats, uneasy feelings, insomnia, had to push away from someone who loves me, tired, unmotivated, think hurt, brain hurt.
It all struck me like a bolt of negetive energy flowing through my viens. So i woke up today pretty late today. I felt alone and cold and anxious and unbalanced and unmotivated. . immediately i had to think of something. Which was difficult because i wanted to crumble in a ball until the lightning storm stopped, which i dont think it would have. Usually on monday mornings i wake up early and start to study or go running. This monday would be different. I felt off centre & knew something had to be different. So i left the house and headed for the book store, Indigo. I grabbed a tea. And began to wander the store. Slowly, very slowly, i began to find zen. My brain and body began to slowly work together and harmonize. It was a small sense of inner calm after the storm. Its been so long since ive ever felt so awfull for no major reason. The books helped, the tea helped. I had to remind my myself to take deep breaths as my stomach started turning on occasion. Knowledge and peace and creativity fills that book store. Immersing myself in such an environment is a beautiful feeling. After a few hours i headed off to class, still slightly uneasy but much better than earlier. I wish to never feel that again.
From the words i found this morining in the store, i can find the strength to make things happen. Set a few goals. And carry on. Through inspirations. Aspirations.
Reiki, positive people, daily acts of cheer, trees, wilderness, discovery, green, creating, ramble, ramble, ramble

1 comment:

Lycia said...
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