ride the waves and dont ask where they go

- i dont know what im doing -
i dont know if this is the story i want. i dont want to ruin the book because you cant change the past. but... i dont want any decisions to lead to pain now... later in the chapter the change may be better. but... i cant see the future... of this story, and i cant ask... because no one knows.

digital art

 This is a digital art piece created by RT which has combined two photos: my crayon art on canvas & a creative self portrait.

I think its pretty RAD!

just try harder

Just try harder, do better, dont give up, be better. But what if youre trying to try harder, and maybe then you feel pain. You experience a false sense of self. Are you broken? Why cant i just try harder? If i try hard enough, surely i will get through?

Then i ask... do i try harder or just stop trying?

41st & home

i saw this band play 2 nights ago @ red room. i sang and danced to this song because i liked it... and the face paint.... and how they were raising money for a charity by selling nature/eagle t-shirts and owl beanie babies. i also enjoy when bands incorporate many instruments into their songs.

just really really good

let go

just a few things on my mind that had me thinking of...

a small lesson that could mean alot

It is in life & health that things can suddenly come up. We may have had a plan in mind.

But we must learn to be dynamic.

A changed plan should not be a missed opportunity or a failed goal.

Change is a new opportunity to seek something that has the ability to be new and exciting.

Its just a new circumstance. Try to let go of the things that were.

Live for the world that is now. Life is waiting for us to embrace it.

Ride the waves, test the waters, go with the flow.

weeting

weetabix & teddy bears &  dubstep
"It's called 'Weeting'. The veterinary-grade Ketamine-methylamide mix synthesizes with the 2% milk in your stomach, turning it into a high-octane liquid 'crunk fuel'- causing it to be directly absorbed into blood vessels connected to your heart & brainstem. This is why the girl has three totally sober, First Aid ticketed trip sitters watching her while she doses."
Safety first, dancing bears next. check it... http://youtu.be/AlM1rHZ4NTg

harmonious vibrations

we stepped off. unknown destination. so what better than to follow the squirrells and fairies. fairies arnt smart though. so we leave them behind.
circle. dance. hands. unity. laughter. smiles.
barefeet in the grass. dance through the forest. soul spinning with the sounds.

EARTHDANCE in vancouver. celebrating the forests. it is a global movement. in over 50 countries around the world everyone links up and they play the Prayer for Peace at the exact same moment – morning in the Australian rainforest, afternoon in California, midnight in London, and sunrise over the Himalayas – it is a powerful moment that unifies intentions for World Peace.

< -- there i am on the right!

i melted

..then at the other end of the forest:
Broken.Social.Scene. my heart melted. i had to be there. i was.

electronic awakening

Have you ever felt transcendence on the dance floor... a complete sense of unity with the music and the world around you?

study zinger

Nice girl @ coffee shop gave me a quadruple when I ordered a double... my nervous system just erupted into a dance party.

im wide awake, im wide awake

 You're Too Cool!?

what is happy? when i felt dehydrated, looked at my glass, then realized it was half full.

I made a new friend. sprite! (picture)

I adore my house sitting home so so much. glimpse of the qualities: beach, swimmin in the ocean, sunsets, riding around on my bike, going to yoga, espresso, sprite, cooking, freedom, prancing around the house, being relaxed, inviting friends over, not worrying.

Same time: my left & right view :)

sunLIGHT

lights & music. are on my mind. 

fading with the color you see in my face. holding hope open for the one, making you wait.

 

music

LOOK AT WHAT THE LIGHT DID NOW

juxta...

health, knowledge, activity

Feelin Groovy. Been ridin round Van City for the past couple days. Cool spots and feelin artsy. Plus today was first day of school. Things are lookin up!

what are you thinking

What are you thinking about? I always hated when you asked that question.
It's a tricky question. I used to say nothing. Is it an illusion to pretend that we can bridge the gap between your thoughts and mine. For you, every person is like a planet and two different planets can never become one. Two people together will always be: one plus one.
I preferred to think of us as bubbles, because when they touch, they merge into one another like when two people make love.
But... now i dont know. Will two people together will always be one plus one...?

*please feed the fish*

berry bonanza!

cake it...

-the art of creation-

drip drop

Crayon (James and Evander Remix)

crispy crumble, mumble jumble

-  blackberry crisp  -

change everything

 Sleeping Sickness

no sleep. uncertainty. trapped. always. would i mind if life was taken away. this isnt the hiding i like. when someone hates me, i hate me. its not working. not happening for me. i'll never find the words to say which would completely explain just why I'm breaking down

wednesday: blood day

blood, bloody, juicy, red, liquid, vein, guts...

tonight i gave blood. it went fast and wonderful as usual. i biked to the clinic and home and didnt feel weak.

i just hope that all the shit that went into my body and veins and muscles and bones up at sham is outa there. i sure as hell wouldnt want to lend that shit to someone in need.

"I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat" (Winston Churchill)

crave

stars

i sat in the sun for awhile. then waited. waited.

i just wanted to bask in the presence of their sound. oh well.

'dont kill yourself', he said.

-------

sunk

doubting every decision i make. doubting myself. why am i where i am. falling?
never as smart, never as pretty. never as fit, never as wealthy.
dirt. a spec. who cares. bag of bones.

love.

why does my heart bother to beat. takes up space and emotions.
make me disappear. ill swim to the bottom of the sea. or if you let me, ill just *poof*

moon

The sky was lit
by the splendor of the moon
So powerful
I fell to the ground

the big brilliant glow, resting in the black sea of sky. she speaks to me, through my soul.

James Blake - I Only Know (What I Know Now)

into the river

i rode through the majestic forest, lower seymour. i havnt been through those woods for 2 months. it was amazzzzing. so fresh and green and lush and so so so beautiful. ahhhh

i jumped into river. it was cold. it chilled my bones. it was so nice.

will my ankle ever heal. when will i be free to adventure like before. patience.

ps. today i met a precious little person, River.

adapt or die

Erik: The great blue whale is the largest animal to have ever existed. It's heart weighs thirteen hundred pounds, and the male has seven gallons of te...testicles.
Erik: The blue whale's music can be heard for over five hundred miles. A blue whale's tongue weighs overs two and a half tons.
Hanna: What does music feel like?Erik: Music; a combination of sounds with a view to beauty of form and expression of emotion.
Hanna: I want to hear it for myself.
Erik: We've all we need right here.
Hanna: It's not enough. I'm ready.
Hanna: Papa, I'm ready.

*SHAMBAlove*

The magic was in the trees, and in the ground and blood of all that entered. A jungle of creatures dancing in the sand, by the river, throughout the costumed liViNg rOoM. Hot breeze under the cedar trees. Chillllll. Nonstop smiles, everyone feels the groove, feels it everywhere. The pulse, beat of life, beat of love. Community of souls transform into wild animals as they flock to the village. And pulses unite. Beat as one, big, loud, beautiful, raging. *wOmmmP*

ps. When you can stop, you don't want to. When you want to stop, you can't......................

sham' wow

WOAHHHHH wompwommmmmwommmmpbaaaalalalalalaa zaaaaaaaaahhh womppppppppppp poahhhhh ZINGEAHHHHHH.
im a bit excited. gun leave this city.
maybe i will find my true home land, earth, ground, terrain.
"peace. love. ecstacy."

a lost opportunity

Suburbs
ive wanted to do this for over 6 years.
the pain inside me right now is overpowering. passion is such a powerfully word. but i times i seek something stronger.

suppose i can just live my dreams through them.
so climb hills, mountains, go upward, move forward, towards the sun. climb the mountains and get their good tidings. let nature's peace flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. the winds will blow their freshness into you, and the storms their energy. the land was made for you and me. remember to stop often. chat with the wildlife, smell the wildflowers, run through the tall grass, dip your toes in the water.

calm waters

Pretty sure im obsessed with this guy, mr. knight. He's so cute. love it. Dan and him compliment eachother. the tune makes me calm. calm. like the fresh scent of a lavender blossom on a cool summers evening. haha. it helps alot actually. INHALE. zen. love. peace. calmmmmm mmmmmm.

Im going to the rockies in 2 weeks. I will sing this song.

when you need one..

bubble.
send me into the atmosphere. clouds. space.
i want to be nowhere. nowhere man, where are you. we should meet.

its as if.. still, no one.. knows. cold. alone. its the truth.
not fun anymore. not happy.








what is the change thats needed?

look at what the light did now

i see you. i feel it, hear it, listen. you. soul and body, mystery and mind. me.
feis doc~ illuminates the synergy of collaboration, art as a magnifying glass, and the power of trust. she was very afraid of the light. inspiring and powerful woman.

who

Who am I? ?
I do not know.
I could be anyone,
Or anything.
But there is nothing,
I want to be,
Or anything I can be.
I cannot see myself
As anyone special.
I cannot see myself
Useful to anyone.
So I ask again and agin
To myself and to anyone
Who will listen to my question
Who Am I?

stationary pain

feels as though im being tortured. i cant run, hike, bike, or walk. its driving me crazy and im falling. accomplishing nothing, bank account is dwindling, i hate my job, i cant do anything active. fuck this.

'everything was beautiful and nothing hurt'
Though life often seems hard and unfair, life itself is still a miracle.. and therefore it is extremely beautiful?

dance like a rubber band

longwalkshortdock!! his show was quite unlike others. this guys ENERGY is contagious. He is nuts. ~Loved it~

sit dancing was so frustrating... but i did end up on the dance floor... Dobbling (hobble dancing?) Sympathy to those in the world who cant dance- its the spice of life.

ok so at one point he screamed 'DANCE LIKE A RUBBER BAND'. i like that haha.
hoping i can see him at shambles! woop ;)

caterpillar

“Who are YOU,” asked the Caterpillar…

I–I hardly know, sir, just at present– at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.
What do you mean by that? said the Caterpillar sternly. Explain yourself!
I can’t explain MYSELF, I’m afraid, sir said Alice, because I’m not myself, you see.
I don’t see, said the Caterpillar.
I’m afraid I can’t put it more clearly, Alice replied very politely, for I can’t understand it myself to begin with; and being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.
It isn’t, said the Caterpillar.
Well, perhaps you haven’t found it so yet, said Alice; but when you have to turn into a chrysalis–you will some day, you know–and then after that into a butterfly, I should think you’ll feel it a little queer, won’t you?

---

---

grass, jungle, secret - a trio of sound

..but when I trip on my feet
look at the ground
the words are, written in the dust
when I'm shaking my hips
look for the swing
the words are written in the air

Mr. roberts @ stanley park. Wine, strawberries, sourdough baquettes, live music, sunshine... and the company of my lovely girlfriends. nothing could stop the magic the night had to offer. Sam roberts was spectacular... even from behind the fence. His first song came on at twilight. The bass was felt so intensely pounding through the ground at one point... it was unexpected and fun... music through the viens. also turns out i know more of Sam's songs than thought, which inspired my dancing in the grass. lucky enough i was able to convince kristina that the best way to stay warm was by dancing haha. Soo we danced, danced, danced... high on the fresh air, beautiful world, and tunes. magnifico!

Astoria... as summed up- lovely claire! robbie! robot dancin hobo! junlge jungle jungle FAN!

Grove... late, love, dance, groove, sleeepy energy. We were the last ones let in! oh and a lil lost adventure before the show haha. All round special place... grovey.

*one night.... many colours of dance*

it was very quiet all the time because the trees needed to focus on their lives

A very long time ago, there were no groves because everywhere was a grove with no roads to bisect and no people to erect stones and fences and bridges. 

The trees were very, very young and had much living ahead of them.  The enormity of their lifespan loomed in wooly mists around them, so they stretched out their root fingers and wrapped them around each others’, intertwining and holding very tight. 

The ferns found pockets of root fingers where they could nestle in and the moss stretched itself out over the soil and everything became very soft. The trees grew and made patterns of light and dark on the ground and the vines swirled in to trace the patterns.  Spotted spiders moved back and forth and up and down, making nets to catch the mist, and the mist would linger on the nets in drops that cupped the light. It was very quiet all the time because the trees needed to focus on their lives.  It is not easy to grow so much, for so long.  Some trees became tired and lay down on the soft ground; others leaned and rested their tops on another.  Growing is forever, they whispered, and when one tree had to stop, another would grow out of it and reach very high into the grey and gold sky. 

The trees rested and waited to the mist to come and cool them.  They were very large, but still not very old, and had much more growing to do.

yes nice

I’m gonna wait ‘till judgment day
You say ice and I say up in flames
I’m gonna march around this town

solo adventure girl

There's something magical about hiking all by yourself. Your free to go at your own pace, to stop and take photos, or to sit down and reflect on your surroundings whenever you want. You never feel compelled to make conversation, when all you want to do is go for a peaceful walk or run through the woods.

So today i went on a 5.5 hour solo wilderness excursion. There were just a couple times when i thought it might last 27 hours. But all went well. Whats life without taking risks? A beautiful and magical day..

whats next?

Summer time was today. A solid day... work, bike, hike, dogs, river, beach, cider, lovin, hockey, sleep.
News? Shambles. Job hunting. Training. not much, not much, not much.
Been adventuring lately. I love exploring. The trees and nature and wilderness never ceases to amaze me. love love.

free bird

school, its OUT FOR THE SUMMER!!

and now i will swim across the oceam, i will climb every mountain, i will fly through the sky, i will dream beautiful dreams, i will keep up with momentum, and i will not look back.

Summer Day - Coconut Records